I want to radiate queerness
I want queer to be an aura around me
I want queer to be such an unmistakable vibe around me that cishets don’t come within 100 feet of me because they’ve been stopped by a queer force field
I want to flow with so much queer power that just walking by an ally wearing a Straight Pride shirt will cause them to instantly choke to death on their own bullshit
random facebook comment i just post…
Ah. Okay. So, before Stonewall, it wasn’t common to treat gender and sexuality as two distinct aspects of a person. Like, even in mainstream white psychology at the time they were definitely intertwined.
And it is actually the gay/lesbian movement that moved to define sexuality as not having anything to do with gender (ie, gay men are still men! lesbians are still women!) as a way to push out trans women of colour (by extension all trans women). And they did this in the early 70s.
This push is partially why ‘homosexuality’ was removed from the DSM, while ‘gender dysphoria’ remains.
So calling sexual minority groups an ‘ethnicity’ ends up reifying this lie told by white cis gays and lesbians, when it is really just about respectability politics.
…The first time Kate and I had sex, I was too nervous to orgasm. Our second time together, as I reached the same impassable plateau, I asked her to stop and lay there crying. Dysphoria and anti-trans baggage won out. I felt disgusting. We sat on the bed and chatted for awhile. To pass the time, I showed her my strap-on harness and my porn DVDs. Trans Grrrls in particular caught her eye. As the night ended she reassured me, “You don’t have to apologize.” For anything: for my body issues, for crying, for feeling insecure…
I wrote an article about how positive trans representation in porn has helped me feel safer getting intimate with other people.
amy continues to rock
I am sorry for filling you with beer and bad thoughts and then asking you why you shook. I am sorry for pinching you, for hitting you, for bruising the thin-skinned parts of you. I am sorry for the names I called you when we were fighting. You are not ugly. You are not useless. You would not be better off gone. I’m sorry for almost throwing you out into the street because my sadness was too much for me. I’m sorry for carving my fingernails into your thigh and then resenting the way people asked, “How’d that happen?” I’m sorry for plucking you and nicking your calves with drugstore razors. I’m sorry I let some people see you in the moonlight. They didn’t deserve to know the color of your hips like I do. I’m sorry for leaving you convulsing over a toilet bowl over some boy. I’m sorry I did not thank you for simply trying to take me where I wanted to go. I’m sorry I screamed at you to shrink, shrink, shrink when all you could do was grow. I’m sorry that this apology is ten years too late. I’m sorry that it will probably come again. I’m sorry that I do not treat anybody else as poorly as I have treated you. I’m sorry that I am constantly learning how to love you, when you have never once doubted how you feel about me. I’m sorry in ways I have not yet learned to communicate.
— An Apology to My Body | Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)
I will have an undergraduate class, let’s say a young white male student, politically-correct, who will say: “I am only a bourgeois white male, I can’t speak.” … I say to them: “Why not develop a certain degree of rage against the history that has written such an abject script for you that you are silenced?” Then you begin to investigate what it is that silences you, rather than take this very determinist position-since my skin colour is this, since my sex is this, I cannot speak… From this position, then, I say you will of course not speak in the same way about the Third World material, but if you make it your task not only to learn what is going on there through language, through specific programmes of study, but also at the same time through a historical critique of your position as the investigating person, then you will have earned the right to criticize, you be heard. When you take the position of not doing your homework- “I will not criticize because of my accident of birth, the historical accident” - that is the much more pernicious position.
HOLY SHIT YES YES YES
it’s also SUCH a reverse victimization thing like
when ~antiracist allies~ say this shit it always includes this sort of faux-self-deprecating element
and intentionally or not, there’s the implication that we white people in general are being ~silenced~ by the ~cruel~ person of color, and that ~oh no we’ve been taught to hate ourselves for our whiteness and believe all these self-deprecating things~ which of course is EXACTLY the white guilt script that more blatantly racist whites looking at this will want to see as more ‘justification’ to dismiss analysis of racism.
and it’s inevitably framing people of color as mean or angry or ~reverse racist~ and ourselves as beleaguered; it’s inevitably fishing for compliments, for coddling, for having the conversation recentered around us and derailing the actual conversation taking place.
Some days I feel really torn between “kink has amazing potential to create transcendent psychological, even spiritual, experiences” and “kink turns me way the hell on.”
I mean, not that these have to be mutually exclusive.
"I want to create a scene that shakes me out of shallow intellectualization and forces me to draw upon the unbreakable inner strength at my core. …Also, there should be butt stuff."